doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
