Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
