Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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