2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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