it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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