haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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