it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
