McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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