That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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