I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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