paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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