she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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