a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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