pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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