butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So apparently I’m into choking now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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