I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just had sex on a roof
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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