are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
