So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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