I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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