He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
