thus making me awesome and them whores
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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