Banned from zoo.
Again?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
