so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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