Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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