I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
