Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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