I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
