why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
