Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
