we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
