Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
