Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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