Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
