Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize