kristin has been a bad kristin
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
