***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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