if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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