with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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