12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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