He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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