Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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