So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
