I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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