lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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