After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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