I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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