What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
