my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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