My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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