Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize