I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
