I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
