Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What drink are we having for lunch?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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