Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
