thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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