I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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