i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
