He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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