I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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