I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
